i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
