just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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