Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
