I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
