Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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