He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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