barbara walters just said penis...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
