we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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