2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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