How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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