I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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