I wannas sexs uuuuu
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
