Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
