What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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