Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
