she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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