She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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