Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What drink are we having for lunch?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
