He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
