you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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