you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
