I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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