Nicole vs. Life
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
