so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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