The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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