His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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