yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
