areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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