I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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