but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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