Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
