So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
