Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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