Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
