your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you made out with another girl for some wings
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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