Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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