We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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