we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Drake has all the answers
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
