she woke up with a sticky ear
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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