Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
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nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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