seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
