That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
