Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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