You just made me feel so damn special
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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