Kiss
Puke
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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