we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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