The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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