You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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