i don't plan on having that self control this summer
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
