shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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