My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
