Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
