it hurts more in the daytime
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
