with your own penis?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
