Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
