I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
