She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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