whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
