Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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