is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
