Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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