I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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