Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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