Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Shame - the story of my life.
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