and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Come see our sink grown plant.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
