Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
